Appropriated
by Andrew Meblin, copyright February 1, 2024
There is a story about cultural appropriation, though the facts may be uncertain, some people find this humorous. It is about some of the university faculty. The campus sits on land previously used by the Ohlone, the indigenous people who had populated the area surrounding the large bays known as San Francisco and San Pablo.
Fed by all the rivers up to the crests of the coastal mountains and from the Sacramento and San Joaquin rivers, which in turn were fed by the waterways that drained the Sierra Nevada and Trinity ranges, The Bay, as people called it, acted as a giant heat-sink, keeping the surroundings cool in the summer, and warm in the winter. That enabled the Ohlone people to survive with only scant clothing. And survive they did, for perhaps 10,000 years, enjoying an abundance of food in an area with sufficient resources enabling them to adapt to the environment.
The Huchiun Ohlone, as did all the small groups living around the Bay, discarded the shells and bones left over from meals in piles near their tule grass huts. After millennia of the disposal of this soon to be inert detritus, huge piles had built up. The Ohlone continued to build on or near these mounds, some reaching sixty feet in height, spanning hundreds of feet across what had been marshland. The accumulation of calcium and humus from tule plants and vegetable matter combined to provide burial sites for those who had passed away. And there they lived, peacefully at times, and in violent conflict with competing groups on occasion, but undisturbed until the arrival of Europeans.
Sometime after Hernán Cortez and his band of thugs convinced rivals of the Aztecs of Mexico to help them conquer the dominant group, the Spanish crown declared ownership of the land from north of California, to the tip of South America. But claiming land and actually owning it are separate conditions. To truly own land, in the European mind, one had to have people on it. And though the Spanish had none, for a hundred or so years no other European power physically challenged Spain for the vast territories of the western hemisphere.
Empires last forever until they don’t. When Spanish royalty learned that British and Russian interests encroached on territory claimed for the crown, the response was to populate that far off land that bordered the Pacific Ocean, to show a Spanish presence to sailors on Russian and British ships. To achieve that goal King Carlos III commanded the padres of the Franciscan order to establish missions along the coast of Alta California.
The Franciscan priests obeyed. Their goal was clear: to save the souls of heathens, to deny Satan as many unbaptized people as possible. In addition to their religious conversion, the priests and the Church perceived a need that remains relatively universal; to inculcate in others the benefits of your culture, which is obviously, in their view, superior. They were to proceed north, with Spanish soldiers, and a small contingent of farmers and craftsmen, bringing livestock, seeds, tools, and materials.
After arriving at what is now San Diego they began the construction of a string of twenty-one missionary communities placed usually very near the Pacific Ocean. Set about thirty miles apart, the distance a person could easily travel by burro in a day’s time, the string of small communities presented the façade of a heavily populated land.
Along with all the essential goods and materials, the Spanish voyagers brought germs. Diseases to which the Europeans and the Mexican mestizo had developed an immunity, wreaked havoc on the populations of California Indians. Where smallpox and measles left a greatly reduced population, Indian population recovery was severely restricted by venereal diseases, syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia, which made conception a near impossibility. Those Indians that survived that double-whammy of bacteria and viruses were taught that their manner of dress was shameful, and their ways of surviving inferior. Indians who escaped the involuntary servitude were chased like fugitives, captured, and dragged back to the mission. At every turn, Spanish missionaries and Mexican rancheros combined to destroy the culture and lives of the indigenous people of the Pacific coastal regions.
Prior to Cinco de Mayo, the ethnic studies department had sent out an email explaining the concept of cultural appropriation, which the letter described as “problematic.” The main author of the communiqué, Professor R- - - - - - --Cortez presented a series of scenarios that would be considered offensive, including the prediction of which taboo-fracturing would result in official complaints to university administration.
Essentially, Professor R- - - - - - --Cortez asserted that any taking of a cultural expression in a manner that is disrespectful, stereotypical, and/or incorrect is harmful. Thus, any item of clothing that was considered extreme or obviously inauthentic would be frowned upon, and might possibly harm Latino people. Any prop used in a way that was historically inaccurate – also a no-no.
Of particular note, a national chain of fast-food restaurants serving a menu that at best could be considered cultural grand larceny began an advertising campaign featuring a talking Chihuahua, wearing a tiny sombrero and speaking Spanish. Professor R- - - - - - --Cortez had circulated a petition in which signatories declared that they had been harmed by the theme of the ad campaign. So, while it was perfectly fine to join him and his group in celebrating Mexico’s great victory over the French, attendees were warned that they must be respectful of La Raza, The Race.
“In other words,” Dr. A quipped, “One may wear a sombrero, if it is truly of Mexican origin, but it can not be too big, or too small, nor can it be a color that is extreme.”
“Right,” Dr. T concurred, “I wonder if it matters where the sombrero was made.”
“Of course it does. Did you know that Panama hats were originally made in Ecuador, and are Ecuadorian in design? The only thing Panama about Panama hats is that they were sold in Panama, to people crossing the Isthmus, the Darien.”
“I did not know that,” Dr. T said mocking an Englishman of the upper-class.
On Cinco de Mayo, at Dr. R- - - - - - --Cortez’s gathering held at local brewpub, attendees wore anything authentic of Mexican origin, meaning anything they’d purchased in a local boutique that claimed the garment had been made south of the border. Only a couple of oversized sombreros were seen, and that had been early on in the evening before those who hadn’t read the memo received it in whispered form, which usually required the recipient to remove his or her sombrero in order for the whisperer to deliver the message, after which the offending chapeau was stashed beneath furniture. A handful of men wore splendid outfits, clothing of caballeros, and their female companions exotic Mexican party dresses. Others wore more subtle variations of less extravagant nature.
A mariachi band entered playing as they took up their positions in an arc, slowly as partygoers moved tables, chairs, and themselves out of the way. Seven men, wearing oversized sombreros, five women, and five children, all played in perfect in pitch and synchronization, three trumpets, one trombone, four guitars – one fretless guitarrón, a vihuela, and two acoustic guitars – plus five violins, the smallest played by a girl who couldn’t have been older than six. Two women danced, keeping time with castanets, but the most mirth making sight was two of the youngest children who also danced but holding on leashes, two tiny Chihuahua dogs, wearing teensy sombreros.
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